Oh, to be Mom and Dad’s VIP
When discussing whether or not parents have a favorite child, it’s usually the mother
But new research is lifting the lid on the ugly truth – there’s almost always a big god in the brood.
And, sorry guys, it’s usually the girl.
According to an American Psychological Association study published this week, parents may be more inclined to give the “favorite child award” to girls or boys who are pleasant and conscientious.
But crowning a child with the crème de la crème — whether overt or covert — can lead to family chaos, according to the findings.
“For decades, researchers have known that differential treatment by parents can have lasting consequences for children,” lead author Alexander Jensen from Brigham Young University explained in a release.
“This study helps us understand which children are more likely to be in favor of favoritism,” he added, “which can be both positive and negative.”
It is the double-edged sword of sibling superiority.
A previous survey commissioned by UK parenting center Mumsnet confirmed that 23% of parents do have a favorite child.Â
Kris Jenner, 69, the queen of the Kardashian clan, previously let it slip that youngest daughter Kylie, 27, is actually the golden child of her party of six. (Look away, Kim!)
“Mama” star Jaime Pressly, 47, admitted her oldest son Dezi, 17, is her favorite pup of her three sons.
Steve Carell, 62, even confessed that he ranked one of his two children, Elisabeth Anne, 23, and John, 20, slightly higher than the other. However, the “Office” alum was smart enough to keep his favorite child’s identity a secret.
‘Everybody’s Jealous’
But Samah Furrha, 45, a mother of eight from Irvine, California, is vocal and proud of her unparalleled adoration for her youngest son, Kies, 18.
“He is the last and the closest to me,” she burst out. “He likes to hug and kiss.â€
And the teenager’s seven siblings, as well as father Salem, 60, are aware of his top billing in mum’s heart.
The offspring even achieved viral acclaim online, topping their little brother as the all-time favorite of over 10.3 million TikTok viewers.Â
“I hear all the time, ‘He’s your favorite, he’s your favorite,'” Samah told The Post. “He’s hooked on me and I’m hooked on him, too.”
“Everyone is jealous of Kies,” Salem complained, “me too.”
Jensen and his team of collaborators determined that a parent’s special love for one of their offspring is often based on birth order, gender, temperament and personality traits – such as extroversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness and neuroticism.
The investigators conducted a meta-analysis of 30 studies and 14 databases, which tracked a total of 19,469 participants.Â
The investigation found that parental favoritism can be demonstrated in many ways, including how they interact with their children, how much money they spend on them and how much control they exercise over them.
Taking into account five key areas – general handling, positive interactions, negative interactions, allocation and control of resources – the psychologists found that mothers and fathers tend to favor their more responsible and organized child.
The revelation suggests that parents may find conscientious children easier to manage and more mature.
Jensen, however, was surprised to find that a big, extroverted personality doesn’t sway parents — especially in the U.S. — when it comes to choosing their favorite puppy.
“Americans seem to particularly value extroverted people,” he said, “but within families, that may matter less.”
Factors such as child age and parent gender also had minimal effects on parental favoritism “complexes.”
However, not being the apple of mum and dad’s eye has a traumatic impact on less-advantaged children, according to the data.
Jensen warns that siblings who stay outside the winner’s circle often have poorer mental health and strained family relationships.
“Understanding these nuances can help parents and clinicians recognize potentially harmful family patterns,” he said. “It is essential to ensure that all children feel loved and supported.â€
The profession hopes that its findings will inspire mums and dads to become more mindful of their interactions with their children – and that the findings will bring some comfort to those who are not preferred.
“The next time you’re left wondering if your sibling is the golden child, remember that there’s likely more going on behind the scenes than just a preference for the oldest or the youngest,” Jensen said.
“It could be about responsibility, temperament or how easy or hard it is to deal with.”
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Image Source : nypost.com